Apr 27, 2009
On cue, all three kids forgot about their morning routines, and started playing with the dogs, winding them up, and making them bark like mad. The kids know I hate this, and yet they do it every morning. Can someone please tell me how to stop this behavior?
So I yell. Repeatedly. Which has no effect. And I wonder to myself, what has happened to my kids, to myself, that causes yelling at my kids to have no effect? Obviously they're used to it, which really bothers me. Please tell me I'm not the only mother who yells at her kids! But there seems to be no ill-effects, as I get hugs and smiles when they finally leave to watch for the bus. Glass half full.
From that point it was total chaos for the next 15 minutes. I have to remind them to brush their teeth. Then my daughter comes to hug me goodbye, and her backpack falls off her shoulder and spills my coffee, of which I barely had two sips, all over the desk and computer. "Sorry Mommy!" she yells as she runs out the door. Ugh... Luckily nothing was destroyed, only wet and sticky. Glass half full.
Then my youngest forgot to have me sign his progress report, and missed the bus. Luckily the bus loops back by here within a few minutes, so I didn't have to jump up and take him to school in my robe with no coffee in me. And his grades are excellent. See? Glass half full.
One hour later, I had finished 2 loads of laundry and a workout, stripped the bed, and got down 2 cups of precious coffee. Called my mother, called a friend, discovered the kitchen and bathroom sinks were stopped up and back-flowing into one another, and fixed the problem. No plumber needed, no surprise plumber's bill to pay. Again, the glass is half full.
So now I sit, posting about my boring day, to put off the ever-growing to do list, and playing the Pollyanna Game with myself, to find the good in this hum-drum Monday.
Look, it's almost noon! That means in less than 4 hours, i can see my children's smiling faces, and give "being a model mommy" another shot.
Wish me luck!
1. If I sleep, I'll miss out on all this quiet time. Morning will come faster, and I'll have to do the daily battle of getting the kids out the door for school, which involves a lot of screaming, yelling, fighting, and sometimes crying. W will be mean to M, and M will scream, and W will yell, and M will cry. Then I will yell, and on and on. It's the roughest 40 minutes of my day, and I haven't yet figured out how to fix it.
2. M lost her CD case. She is completely devastated about it. I'm hoping I'll find it in the car or in her room tomorrow while she's at school.
3. I have to clean M's room tomorrow.
4. I have to clean the car tomorrow.
5. I wanted to do some sewing today, but it didn't happen. I sat down to do it tonight, but the sizing on the patterns confuses me, because I wear a size 12, but according to my measurements, I should cut the pattern out on a size 16. WTF??? So I just didn't.
6. I need a staple gun. For upholstery work. More on that later.
7. I need to shampoo carpets. Not because I want to, but because the hideous carpet in this house is driving me C R A Z Y! Maybe I'll pay someone else to do it.
8. I need a job. Not because I want it, but because unfortunately, money makes the world go round, and I have none.
9. My A/C in my car is broke. And since apparently we're gonna skip right over Spring, and jump right into Summer, this is a problem. Especially when you consider that I just paid $1100 last June to have it fixed. Grrrrrrrr....
Ok, that's not all of it, but hopefully that's enough off my head to let me sleep. Because now I really am tired.
Apr 26, 2009
On Friday, we loaded up Jack, Huey, and Spirit to go to the vet. Jack needed his wound checked, and Huey and Spirit were going to be castrated.
Jack is doing well. His severe laceration is healing, very very slowly, and he is battling an infection, which the doctor assures us is normal. He still has to be stabled for a couple of weeks, but he walks surprisingly well, and greets us loudly every time we come to feed.
Huey and Spirit are MAD! I can't blame them, poor babies. Spirit is the least upset, and only wants to eat. Huey was the Alpha in the herd, and he's still trying to assert that, especially with the mares, and I think it causes him no little pain, in the process.
After we dropped the horses off at the vet's office, Hubby and I went separate ways for the day. It wasn't planned or intentional. He had errands to run, and I needed to run to mom's house for a quick errand of my own. So I went to mom's, visited her for a few, then she left to go to a job interview. Dad was home, changing the oil in the lawn mower, so I stood in the garage and chatted with him for a few minutes as well. Then I left and went to Wal-mart. I wanted some sewing patterns, and I needed conditioner.
While I was there, Mom called with the exciting news that she got the job! So when I left Wal-mart I just went back to mom's. And I stayed. all. day. long. We went to a nearby town and did a little shopping, went back to the house and looked at flowers n the flower beds, and just basically spent some time catching up. We had an awesome dinner at a little Italian place, and then went for a drive around the lake, and oohed and ahhed over the GIANT HUMONGOUS houses there. I didn't get home til almost 9:00 that night.
Saturday we went and retrieved the horses from the vet. I came home and started in on my chores, and then invited mom and dad over for dinner. They said they'd be here at about 6:30. They showed up at three o'clock! Dad brought his chainsaw and trimmed the dead drooping branches from the tree in the front yard. They've been hanging like that for a year and a half, since the huge ice storm destroyed it. The branches were so close to the ground, I almost couldn't mow under them. I'm glad it's taken care of now.
Then we threw some steaks on the grill, ate dinner, and mom and dad left so they could go home and shower. I took a shower myself, and we spent the evening next door at Brandon and Courtney's talking on the back porch. They're sweet neighbors, and we haven't spent much time with them. Mostly because they are very busy young people, and they don't have kids. But they're very good with my kids, and think my kids are super-polite and well-mannered.
So today is Sunday. I think I will exercise and do some sewing. I'm hoping to make some cute skirts, and maybe some lounge pants.
OH! and I finally got a camera, so I'll be posting lots of pics soon.
Apr 20, 2009
Stitch #1: I made a new shower curtain for my bathroom. Yes you heard me right. I made it. And it's pretty. I am PROUD!
My bathroom is TINY!!! But my new shower curtain is cute!
Stitch #2: This is stitches in the worst possible way. Jack, our 3 yr old quarter horse gelding, got himself tangles in some barbed wire on Saturday. He managed to sever tendons, ligaments, and 2 major vessels in his back left leg. Y'all, I was scared. And heartbroken. This sweet horse belongs to my precious 8 yr old son, and we thought we were going to have to put him down. The horse, I mean, not the kid. Wow, that really didn't come out as eloquently as I'd hoped.
So anyhoo... we called the vet. While we waited for the vet, I drove the 2 miles back to house to get anything I could find to bandage the would and stop the bleeding. Cuz y'all, it was Really. Bleeding. Bad. I mean like gushing, spurting bad. I grabbed all the gauze pads I had, and an old sheet, and a pair of scissors. We packed the would with as much gauze as I had, the tightly wrapped it with a sheet and tied it around the leg. Then we waited. And it rained. Heavily. Lots of rain.
Doc was awesome. He made an emergency pasture-call, assessed the damage, and told us Jack would live! He simpy tied off the two bleeders, and then just bandaged everything up. He said it had been too long since the injury to stitch everything up, and was afraid of infection, so he hoped everything would drain out ok if he just left it open. He couldn't do anything about the tendons and ligaments, and said Jack would just have to learn how to flop the foot forward to walk on it.
We put Jack in the stable, which he does not like. He's very lonely there. He's used to being with his herd, which consists of 4 other horses besides him. And the herd misses him as well, especially Bailey, whom we call Big Momma. She acts like a momma who has lost her child in the store. She just walks around, looking for Jack.
So, $459 later, Jack is fine. He's even walking on the leg. I think he's gonna be ok.
Stitch #3: I have started a new project. I am cross-stitching an afghan. It's a project I haven't done before, and I'm really excited about it. I think it will be a gift for my in-laws when I'm done with it. It's the Insect Alphabet, and each letter of the alphabet has a lilttle insect on it, and they're all quite detailed. I got a little discouraged at the sheer amount of DMC floss colors needed, but I'm going to do it anyway. I think the designer's goal was to use Every. Single. Color. of DMC floss ever made. And since I've always wanted to OWN every single color of DMC floss ever made, this works out great! I'll post a pic when it's done.
So that's it! My weekend in stitches. Oh! And y'all pray for us, please. We're going through a personal struggle right now, and I know God will see us through, but extra prayers won't hurt. Love y'all.
Apr 17, 2009
As promised, I am back with a few Mimi-isms ad a picture of Mimi with my daughter. I took this pic with my cell phone, because I am camera-less for now (but hopefully not much longer) so forgive the poor quality of this picture.
And as a side note, I didn't realize how grown-up my ten year old daughter was starting to look until I saw this photo! Mimi told me all day how pretty Morgan is, and now I think maybe I'm seeing what Mimi was seeing. She is beautiful.
And so is Mimi! Look at her! She's 85 years young, and doesn't take crap from anyone. Not the doctors, the physical therapist, or even her family members. In fact she informed me today that the only reason I get away with bossing her around is because I do it with a smile.
So here are a few things I learned from Mimi during the three weeks I cared for her:
1. Don't tell your husband everything. If you do, he'll start to thinking he already knows it all, and he'll stop listening when you talk to him.
2. Always support your husband. Don't ever talk bad about him to another person. Think what you want, but show the world that your love for him is true. Always provide a united front, to the kids, your parents and his, and to the whole world in general.
3. You gotta feed him. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. And don't forget the ego. It needs a little feeding now and then.
4. Keep your hands busy. Learn a craft, like crocheting or knitting, cross-stitch etc. It keeps the body busy, the mind free, and provides great therapy during times of recuperation or stress.
Here are a few things I learned ABOUT Mimi:
She was one of only two children, in a time when many families were quite large.
Her mother never taught her to cook.
She and her sister are still close to this day.
She had 3 children, 2 of which are still living. One died several years ago from diabetes.
She HATES to be bossed.
She doesn't like showers. She wants to take a bath, but has to shower because of her hip replacement 2 yrs ago.
She has a great sense of humor, and a great smile.
She loves potato soup and biscuits and gravy.
She went to school to be an English teacher, because her daddy wanted her too.
Today was my last "official" day on the job. I may get to take care of her again in the future, but for now, her daughter wants to see how she does on her own. I disagree with this, not because I wanted the money or the job, but I am afraid Mimi will decline in health without constant companionship and supervision. Mimi lives with her daughter and son-in-law, but they are busy people, who seem not quite ready to put their own lives aside to care for her. I'm trying not to be judgmental, and I'm calling as I see it.
I gave Mimi the afghan I've been crocheting during my 3 weeks with her. She all but cried. She loved it. I made her promise to actually use it, instead of saving it for "good." I hope she will get some use and enjoyment from it.
I will miss her.
Now, I don't consider myself to be "in the know" about all things political. I hated History classes when I was in school, and to this day I can't tell you who does what in the governmental scheme of things.
I don't know the function of the House of Representatives.
I don't understand what Congressmen and -women do in their jobs.
There's a lot I don't know. And I'm OK with that for now.
Because I'm learning. Against my will, mostly, because I listen to the TV.
And while I may not have the learnin', I have some common sense.
I can see the bad stuff coming down the pike, y'all, and I know when to get my gun and bar the door.
For whatever reason, The president feels that we should help Mexico with its own war on drug cartels. Why? What about the drug problems in our country. But shelf that for now. We can talk about that later. Because he's blaming AMERICAN GUNS for the strength and uprising of MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS.
Did America purchase these guns for Mexican Drug Lords? NO.
Can Mexican drug lords get their guns from other places? YES.
If we patrolled our borders in a more efficient manner, would we be in a better place as a country, and could guns get down south as easily? Yes, and no, respectively.
If you blame guns for violence, you may as well blame pencils for spelling mistakes, folks.
And if our President is going to blame guns for violence, I can see the next step. The next step will be to somehow revoke or remove our right to bear arms. OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS AS U.S. CITIZENS.
I have a big problem with this. I don't want to shoot someone. I'm not in love with guns. I don't think someone's out to get me.
But if someone was out to get me, or was to threaten my family, my babies, my home, my country, or my life, I want to know that I can protect myself with the gun I purchased LEGALLY for self- and home protection. I want to know that my hubby can carry his gun in protection of his family and property, in accordance with state and federal regulations, because he is LEGALLY LICENSED to do so.
This is my right. Your right.
I don't know about you, but I will fight for it.
Apr 12, 2009
Friday night: My sweet friend met me at my house when I got home from Mimi's (who is doing very well, and wants me to keep coming back!). We jumped in the van and away we went. We only get this opportunity about once a month, and we weren't wasting our precious "sister time" chit-chatting with hubby.
We went to a few stores, to pick up some items I had been needing, and then ate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Everything was awesome! the food was DEE-LISH and the service was excellent. We waddled out of there, and stopped by the mall for a few minutes.
I was shopping for a few casual tops. I wanted something a little longer, closer to a tunic style, because I'm so tall, and I don't care for the short-waisted tops that appear to be so popular now.
I. Found. Nothing. Or nothing I liked. What's with the crazy colors? And weirdo patterns? I just wanted some simple tops, for pity's sake. So we left the mall, I with empty hands, and y sweet friend with a set of PJ's for her daughter.
We then went to check out a new casino in the area. We had so much fun! But I apparently am a magnet for freaks. Strange unknown people kept coming p to me and TALKING to me. I wasn't looking anyone in the eye, I wasn't intentionally sending out any "please accost me in a public place" vibes. I was just looking at different slot machines, and generally checking out the new casino.
It was really nice! It had these odd geometrical cut-out windows in the walls between different sections, and I was peeking through some of them, when this woman comes up behind me and says, "Don't you love being tall?" Of course, I jumped like I'd been shot, and then informed the lady that she'd just scared the hell out of me! Geesh...
A few minutes later, I walked past an ATM and some guy asked me if I was winning any money. I answered with some non-commital noise, and then asked my sweet friend why all these strangers were talking to me. We both kind of laughed about an imaginary sign being posted on my back....
Then this older couple kept pointing and smiling at me, and I finally realized that I had waited on them before, when I worked at a different casino. So maybe the other two weirdo's were previous customers as well. I don't know...
We didn't win any money, in case you were wondering.
Saturday: Woke up, finished the Paint-the-living-room project, FINALLY, and had hubby pick up my new-to-me TV armoir which my sweet cousin sold me at a very good price! And I love it! It's so non-cluttery-looking and pretty in my living room. And it's holds all the DVD's, video games and equipment, and family board games. It's beautiful!
Sunday: (If you've read this far into the post, give yourself a pat on the back) Got up, watched the NCIS marathon on TV while cleaning house, and cooked dinner for my folks. The whole day was very quiet and relaxing, and I really enjoyed having my parents here. We played a new game tonite. Cranium Family edition. It was a blast. Even Nanny and Papa enjoyed it.
SO that's it!
This week I'll try to write a few more Mimi-ism's. It may be my last week with her, and I will miss her so much!
In fact, the weather doesn't seem a bit dreary. It seems like a gentle cleansing rain, and reminds me that being reborn in Christ is the most cleansing thing in my life.
So when my home on earth isn't quite clean enough to suit me, at least I can know that my spirit is clean. And like a clean home that hugs me when I walk in the door, a clean spirit is inviting, loving, and welcoming, even on a dreary day.
Apr 6, 2009
This one and this one got me thinking this morning. AM I frugal enough? Do I rely on conveniences too much? Do I do enough to save money, and work on a budget during these hard economic times? Because they're only going to get harder. Bad times are comin' y'all, and I'm scared.
This one really drove the point home. And the point for me was that while I can bake my own bread, and sew, mend, crochet, make jelly, and keep house, I don't do enough to be considered truly frugal. And now I'm really scared.
See, I don't grow a garden. I never have. I could, I just haven't. I do flower beds, so I know my thumb is green enough. But I enjoy the convenience of buying my green beans frozen, and picking up a bag of mixed greens for dinner.
I have recently become the co-owner of 7 grown chickens. My husband bought them to use as live bait for a trapping job. (Don't send hate mail, the chickens were kept in separate bait boxes and were not harmed!) Now that the job is finished, we need to build a chicken coop. At first I was aggravated at the thought of just another thing for mom to take care of. But after reading this morning, I am grateful that I have them.
But what about other staples? I don't know how to make peanut butter, or butcher a cow, or use seeds from my own veggies (once I grow them) to grow veggies the next year. How will we survive? When the Great Depression hits, how will I feed my precious family? Because if I dread the "What's for dinner?" rant now, it's really gonna be bad when the economy hits bottom.
I don't live on a farm. And how I wish I did. I've always craved that simple life, while enjoying all my modern conveniences. But to be able to grow and butcher and can and stockpile food for the future... this is a skill that is going to be quickly necessary. I'm going to follow the advice I read this morning, and do all the research I can manage, and print out instructions for things I will find useful for being more frugal and self sufficient, and file them away in my Control Journal. Because last week I thought making my own laundry soap was a crazy idea. Now I feel like it might be necessary.
Apr 3, 2009
Link up and brag about your babies at It's Almost Naptime!
Honesty is his middle name. Actually his middle name is Jordan, after his daddy. But he's a very honest child. To a fault.
Several summers ago, Hubby and I took the boy to go fishing for a day at a nearby lake. It was a quiet early summer day, and I was feeling quite lazy. I had packed a lunch, and snacks, and a blanket to lay on in the sun.
He's always been Daddy's boy, but that day he just wanted to lay on the blanket with mom, as Dad wouldn't be still. Dad's a bank-walker when he fishes. He travels up and down the banks, casting and reeling, and C was only about 5 years old at the time.
So the boy and I were sitting on the blanket. The fish weren't particularly hungry, so the fishing was very leisurely at the time. I was laying back reading a book, and C was playing with some little Hot Wheels. We had a little snack, and chatted a bit, and untangled fishing lines, and recast them.
It had been a good twenty or thirty minutes since the last cast, and suddenly we heard a splash. We looked up to see the end of C's little Spider Man fishing pole swimming away. I jumped up and hollered, and ran into the water, but it had already disappeared under the surface.
I felt horrible. I apologized to little C, and told him I'd buy him another pole, because I should have been helping him watch it. He cried a little, and I kept telling him how sorry I was. I kept glancing at hubby, feeling worse by the minute. I kept apologizing. It was the only fishing pole he had, and it was a Spider Man pole. C loved Spider Man.
Finally, C stopped crying, and I stopped apologizing, and I told him he could help mommy fish. He could hold the pole, and I'd help him. He didn't want to.
So here I go, apologizing again. He said, "Mommy, it's ok. I'll get another fishing pole. You can buy it for me. 'Cause it IS YOUR FAULT. But it's ok. I'm not mad."
I laughed and laughed until I thought I would burst at the seams. My honest sweet caring little boy.
Minutes passed, and C was playing with his cars, and I was reading a book, with one hand on my pole, and suddenly there was a tug on the line. Then a BIG tug. I set the hook and started reeling in. The fish broke the top of the water. It was HUGE y'all. And funny looking. It didn't swim or pull right. I thought, "Weird..."
Y'all, when I got this fish pulled in, it was so tangled in fishing line, and had TWO lures in its mouth. TWO! And you guessed it, one of them was attached to C's Spider Man fishing pole! I was so relieved! After all, I didn't have to buy another pole for C!
When I said as much to him, he said, "Yeah! I got my pole back! Aw Right!" Pause "But it's still your fault, mommy."
Gotta love honesty.
Link up and brag about your babies at It's Almost Naptime!
She is 10 going on 25.
She is baby and child and woman all rolled into one.
She is needy and independent.
She is bossy and needs to be reminded of what to do.
She is fiery when confronted.
She is silent when in her own world.
She is an animal lover.
She loves small children.
She's an artist at heart.
She loves to sing and dance, but she's clumsy, like her momma.
She is passionate at play.
She is serious while working.
She's a helper, through and through.
She's a great student, and wants to be a math teacher when she grows up.
She is beautiful, and precious, and precocious, and loves drama, usually the kind of her own making.
She has a great smile.
She has an angel kiss on her head, a little white streak of hair, present since birth.
She is sweet, kind, loving, and has a temper to rival no other, just to even things out.
She is my sunny, bright, bouncy, beautiful girl-child.
Apr 2, 2009
I originally wrote this story in December of 2007, after a terrible ice storm had knocked out all the power in our surrounding area for weeks at a time. Today I have edited it, in order to submit it for the carnival over at "It's Almost Naptime!!".
On Monday morning we woke up to the sounds of tree limbs falling in our backyard, and all the power going out at our house. Within 3-4 hours, power was out all over the neighborhood.Tree limbs were down all over the streets, due to a horrible ice storm that ravaged our area all night. The fire department was going through and checking lines and disconnecting live wires on the ground.
Now y'all know, power outages and kids do not mix. The kiddos were BORED. No TV, no video games, no lights or music, and naturally, no school due to the storm. So bored kids need something to do.
I sat the kids down at the kitchen table where there was plenty of light, and they started to play monopoly. More tree limbs fell, and the kids yelled and got scared. The limb that fell this time had yanked the cable lines from the back of the house, and squashed the fence between me and a neighbor, and had taken out my neighbors power lines as well. I calmed the kids, and went on with making coffee for the fire crews.
Suddenly, Weston says, "Mom, there's smoke coming from the back of Brandon's house!" Brandon is the neighbor to the east of us, and we can see his back door from our kitchen.
So I looked out the window, and sure enough, it looked like smoke, but I thought it might have been steam from a dryer vent. So once again I calmed the kids, told them to stay in the house, and went next door to check. The closer I got the more I could smell smoke, and I got scared. I banged and pounded on Brandon's door, and yelled that the house was on fire, and told him to get out. I called 911, and as I was headed back to my house, here comes Weston with the fire extinguisher from under my kitchen sink. LOL What a smart kid. I handed it to Brandon, took Brandon's girlfriend back to the house with me, and called my hubby.
The fire department showed up, put out the fire, which thankfully did very little damage inside the wall and attic and none to the interior of the house. And Brandon joined his girlfriend at my house. There he shook Weston's hand, in a very grown-up fashion, and thanked Weston for saving their lives.
Talk about one proud kid, and two proud parents. Brandon and Courtney are fine, and we are all thankful for Weston's quick thinking.
Mar 31, 2009
I arrived at the home of Mimi a little before 10. Mimi is 87 years young.
I used the hidden key, and let myself in. Mimi was in the bathroom, so I put my stuff down, making a little noise, hoping I wouldn't scare her. I doubted she would remember me from my visit on Saturday.
Finally I called out, "Good morning Mimi!" She answered me back similarly, and the little dog, Abby, went BERSERK! Barking growling, and generally showing me how pretty and white her teeth were. After 3-4 minutes she settled down, and Mimi and I went to sit in the kitchen.
We talked. We laughed. We covered the same subjects over and over again, And Mimi never tired of hearing my answers. She asked about my hair. Was it a perm? No ma'am, i told her, it's naturally curly. "You just don't know how blessed you are," she says. For the eighth time. I didn't mind. It's nice to be reminded that one is blessed.
"You have a nice smile. Did your parents have to pay a lot to get your teeth so nice and straight?"
I said that no, I had never had braces, and that my teeth had been fairly straight since childhood.
"Oh, you're so blessed."
Yes, ma'am, thank you ma'am.
"And what about those?" she asked, shaping breasts in front of her own slight chest. "Are they real?"
Is she serious?
I had to laugh. I couldn't help it. I busted. I finally replied after nearly choking in my attempt to tone down my mirth.
"Yes, ma'am, God-Given and au naturale." Since she looked a bit skeptical, I told her the words of wisdom my mother imparted long ago: "Never skimp on shoes or bras. Bargain shop for everything else, but buy only the most supportive bras and shoes."
Sound advice, and I thank you Momma. Apparently that advice has paid off, because I never in my life would have thought anyone would think my breasts were augmented in any way, shape or form.
I'll take it as a compliment, even if it came from a dear sweet elderly woman with failing eyesight, hearing, and slight senility.
Mar 29, 2009
On Friday, W and M went with their "other"dad for the weekend, C went to a friend's house, and Hubby went out of town for a meeting. This left me blissfully, peacefully, thankfully ALONE! I loved it. I relished it. I took a hot bubble bath, did my nails, my hair, read a book and listened to music. All without the constant interruptions and small crises that make up a normal day for me.
Saturday, I slept in til 10:00 woke to a peaceful, clean house, and an inch or two or disgusting white stuff on everything. But I wasn't going to let a little snow ruin my solitude. I played online for a bit, did my morning routine, and went out to clean off the windshield so I could go to town for a few groceries. After all, that's what southerner do when it snows. We go to town. More accurately, we head for the nearest grocery store to stock up on milk and bread, as if the latest snow fall was signaling the end of the world as we know it.
I got home from the grocery store, and hubby came home just a few minutes later. We said hello, kissed, and were interrupted by the ringing of the phone.
It was my aunt. She wondered if I was interested in helping out an elderly lady for a week or two, and left me a number to contact the Elderly lady's daughter. Before I knew it, I had a job! A temporary, easy job. Just a few hours a day, for a week or two. And all I have to do is be there. No physical labor, no bathing and changing, just companionship! I'm so excited!
Then last night I helped hubby drink two bottles of whine while we each sat at our computers, and then we went to bed.
I wonder what the rest of today will hold? I'll let you know!
Mar 26, 2009
I thought painting the living room would make my house brighter and cleaner, so I would feel better... No go. And not only did it not make me feel better, I actually feel guilty for not completing the job. Because in typical sidetracked/perfectionism fashion, I told myself I had to do all of it... the whole house. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Cleaning the house is no longer fulfilling. It doesn't take up enough time to be considered a "J-O-B" and I find it interminably boring these days. Just yet another thing that has to be done.
I am not finding any joy in any of my crafts. I don't want to crochet, or cross-stitch, or tat, or sew. I don't want to cook. Or keep up with anything, really. I don't make phone calls. I have friends, but most of them work during the day or are too far away to see on a regular basis. This soul can only handle so much solitude, and I think I've had enough. Maybe I should find a real J-O-B.
I can't think what I'd like to do though. The thought of going back to waitressing does not appeal. But I really don't have many other skills. What I really need is a project. Something I can get paid for. Like opening a restaurant. Or organizing someone else's home. Or just helping someone. Although getting paid to help someone would be better. Or maybe I just need a new hobby. Or maybe I'll just get lost in a video game for a while.
Geez I'm depressed.... Notice how I didn't say anything about going shopping? Got nooooooooo money. Shopping is out. I do however have a nice wishlist going. Not quite as fulfilling as shopping. You know, kinda like how men like to hunt? I like to find bargains. I love thrift stores, craft stores, Goodwill, Salvation army. There's nothing better than coming home with my van packed full of stuff that I paid very little for. But even "very little" is more than I can afford right now. Besides, shopping alone isn't near as much fun as shopping and lunching with a friend.
I think I'm fighting off a serious depression here. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like myself, I don't feel like ANYTHING. Just Blah... for like 2 weeks now. I'm tired of it. How do I get past this?
So let's start with some honest rambling.
I've been in a bad mood for days, and now I'm tired of it. But I don't know how to fix it. Maybe if I finally finished my paint-the-living-room-project I would feel better. I also want to rearrange furniture, pain the bathroom, paint the boys' room and bake bread. Not necessarily in that order, mind you, but those are a few things on my list.
I wanted to make sourdough bread, but when I looked up the recipe, I saw that I had to make a starter first, and let it sit for 5 days. So I decided against the breadmaking, because I figured in 5 days, I would no longer want to bake bread. LOL... Procrastination is a funny thing, and I am a fickle girl.
The painting really needs to be finished, and I can't decide why I haven't done it yet. I have a whole list of excuses, but none of them are really good excuses. Just things I tell myself so I don't have to feel guilty about not finishing it, which, by the way, does not work. I still feel guilty.
Maybe that guilt is why I'm in a bad mood.
We all seem to be struggling to get back to normal life after Spring Break. Spring fever is upon us, I swear. But Mother Nature is sending us a cure for that, in the form of SNOW! Yes, you heard me, SNOW! What an ugly four-letter word that becomes after March 21st. We are supposed to get some of that nasty stuff on Saturday. Yes, please ruin my weekend, because I just didn't get enough torture throughout the week, what with the kids being cranky and mean to one another, and the PMS, and the lack of funds for groceries and casual make-me-feel-better-shopping.
So for lack of shopping funds, I made a wish list, for when we do have funds. Not nearly as much fun as actual shopping.
So, I'm gonna get off the computer and fix myself up to go see a friend for his birthday today. Maybe a trip out of the house for something besides milk and bread will cure my gloomies.
Mar 23, 2009
Not that it will last, mind you, since it's about to storm here. Ahhhhh spring. Rain, Rain, mud, dirty carpets and tennis shoes, and more rain. But ya know, we really need the rain. Or so the weather man tells us.
Oh! And My oldest child turned 12 today. ~~~12~~~!!!!!! OMG! So, 12 yrs ago today, I was recovering from a c-section, and adoring my newborn baby boy. And 11 yrs ago today I was marvelling at just how fast a year could slip by, while laughing at his little cake-and-icing covered face. And looking forward to the birth of my second child, a scant 4 months later. Wow... life really does fly by.
All those times when I thought, "Will this stage never end?" It did, and another seamlessly began. I now have 3 beautiful, smart, loving children, who are sometimes hard to handle, but basically good kids. And suddenly, on this day, their return to school after spring break, I miss them. The house is too quiet.
I am blessed.
Mar 22, 2009
So we get there. W took his new Fuzion scooter, and M and C took their Razor scooters.
The place was full of half-grown thugs on skateboards. You know the kind, sans pants that fit well, sans manners, sans recent haircuts, etc.
These thugs tried to tell my kids that scooters were not allowed. My darling kiddos, with nice haircuts, sweet manners, and well-fitting freshly laundered clothes simply ignored them. W tried to be friends with a couple of the "cooler" kids, but they were just a little to "cool" (read: rude) to talk to him, so he just kept scooter-ing around.
Then the bigger kids started yelling at the smaller kids to get off the ramps, to get outta the way, and so on. W thought maybe they'd like him better if he agreed with them, and proceeded to tell M and C to get off the ramps. I called W over to explain to him that this was a public park, and if the smaller kids wanted to play on the ramps, he needed to be quiet and take turns.
This thug yells to me, "I can hear you! I standing RIGHT HERE!" while I'm talking to my son. I guess he thought I was talking about him telling the smaller kids to stay off the ramps. Guilty conscience, ya hoodlum?
Here comes Mama Bear, y'all. I was mad. First of all, don't tell my kids they can't play as they like in a public park. Second, don't interrupt a mama who is explaining the concept of sharing and taking turns. THIRD...DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M NOT YOUR ELDER!!!
Now, I know that kid has a mama, and I'm sure his mama has done her best to raise a nice boy. But that kid.... if he'd been mine.... O glory.... I wanted to walk over there and grab him by the ear (or a lank of greasy uncut hair, whichever I encountered first) and give him a little lesson in manners. I'm still furious about it.
I told my poor kids we wouldn't be going back to that park, and they understood. It's not fair to them, but I'm afraid to go back. I might hurt the next punk who talks to me like that.
Mar 19, 2009
It's a mudhole with grass seeds planted in it.
That's all I managed to do today. I think I nearly broke my back hand tilling all that dirt. Man, it was packed down HARD. And we won't even discuss the equally hee-yuge pile of rocks that now resides just to the right of the sliding glass door. Maybe I'll build a rock garden out front under the mulberry tree. The grass doesn't grow well there either.
Mar 18, 2009
So far, Spring break has been tolerant. Almost pleasant. only a few fights among the kiddos, and nothing out of the ordinary, at that. W is spending time with Dad, helping him to check traps, and set up new ones. M is mostly keeping to herself, with only the occasional whining about the boys pestering her. C just wants to play his video games, and play with friends. In that order. Always. Very consistent is C.
The Living Room Painting Project is almost complete. Which is great, since I'm almost out of paint. I even have most of the stuff back on the three walls that I've finished painting. Go me!!! So today, I think I'll take a break. Maybe take the kiddos to the skate park. W would love that, and maybe if we go, he'll stop pestering me about it. Or he'll pester to go back, again, and again, and again. That's more his style.
I was so pleased when I stepped on my scale this morning. I saw a number I hadn't seen... well... ever! Because about 2 yrs ago, when I hit thirty, I jumped right over this number to one that is about 7 pounds higher. So apparently all the painting activity and playing softball and rollerblading with the kiddos for the last week is helping. I knew I needed to be more active. If I drop another 7 pounds or so, I can get back into my summer shorts that have been relegated to the bottom drawer for 2 years. Yes, sweet Sister, I too still have cluttered clothing. GASP! But I just couldn't turn them loose.... ya know, motivation and all that.
SO, I'm off to do my morning routine. Better late than never.