Because Elderly Minds Want to Know

Yesterday morning I woke up bright and early... to a puking kid, an itchy kid, and a flat tire on my car. Not a sterling start to my first day on the new job. But, after the application of benadryl for the itchy kid, crackers for the puking kid, and a quick run to the local tire shop, I was well on my way.

I arrived at the home of Mimi a little before 10. Mimi is 87 years young.

I used the hidden key, and let myself in. Mimi was in the bathroom, so I put my stuff down, making a little noise, hoping I wouldn't scare her. I doubted she would remember me from my visit on Saturday.

Finally I called out, "Good morning Mimi!" She answered me back similarly, and the little dog, Abby, went BERSERK! Barking growling, and generally showing me how pretty and white her teeth were. After 3-4 minutes she settled down, and Mimi and I went to sit in the kitchen.

We talked. We laughed. We covered the same subjects over and over again, And Mimi never tired of hearing my answers. She asked about my hair. Was it a perm? No ma'am, i told her, it's naturally curly. "You just don't know how blessed you are," she says. For the eighth time. I didn't mind. It's nice to be reminded that one is blessed.

"You have a nice smile. Did your parents have to pay a lot to get your teeth so nice and straight?"

I said that no, I had never had braces, and that my teeth had been fairly straight since childhood.

"Oh, you're so blessed."

Yes, ma'am, thank you ma'am.

"And what about those?" she asked, shaping breasts in front of her own slight chest. "Are they real?"

Ummmmm....
Is she serious?

I had to laugh. I couldn't help it. I busted. I finally replied after nearly choking in my attempt to tone down my mirth.

"Yes, ma'am, God-Given and au naturale." Since she looked a bit skeptical, I told her the words of wisdom my mother imparted long ago: "Never skimp on shoes or bras. Bargain shop for everything else, but buy only the most supportive bras and shoes."

Sound advice, and I thank you Momma. Apparently that advice has paid off, because I never in my life would have thought anyone would think my breasts were augmented in any way, shape or form.

I'll take it as a compliment, even if it came from a dear sweet elderly woman with failing eyesight, hearing, and slight senility.